


I'll have that beefcake with a side of noodle incidents, please

by thescyfychannel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, M/M, Multi, Party, Really Weird Mixed Drinks, Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider Are Not Related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescyfychannel/pseuds/thescyfychannel
Summary: There are so many good ways to tag team flirt with a local hottie.Unfortunately for Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider, roommate team extraordinaire, they're versed in absolutely none of them.Fortunately for Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider, bisexual disasters extreme, they'reridiculouslyhot instead.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde/Tavros Nitram, Rose Lalonde/Tavros Nitram/Dave Strider, Tavros Nitram/Dave Strider
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33
Collections: Polyswap Winter Promptfest - Dusk Edition





	I'll have that beefcake with a side of noodle incidents, please

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [petasos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/petasos/pseuds/petasos) in the [Polyswap_Winter_Promptfest_Dusk_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Polyswap_Winter_Promptfest_Dusk_2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> unrelated dave + rose going after tavros...? idk man. i don't got many ideas i just love this ship.

You spot him first, but the problem with that is this: If your _usually_ beloved roommate isn't around to hear you call them, the dibs absolutely do not count.

At least, that's what Dave's skating on while you give him your best iteration of a death glare, his hands wrapped tight around his drink, like he thinks an absolutely ridiculous spiked jello parfait will somehow save him from your wrath. You're not going to comment on the colour of it.

"What the hell kind of jello did John talk you into this time." Apparently you are going to comment on the colour of it.

"Apple," Dave says, with what you assume is all the calm confidence of someone who's well aware that he's about to die. "John found a new recipe."

" _John_ makes jello shots, chops them into tiny cubes, then attempts to dole them out under the guise of 'desserts'," you tell him, taking a sip of your own drink. You have no fucking clue what it is, other than that it's purple and that Jane made it. She's more trustworthy when it comes to mixology experimentation in your opinion, and also, she's in culinary school. "His only saving grace is the homemade whipped cream."

"You're still mad about the Jello Octopus Cake incident, huh?"

"We don't talk about the Jello Octopus Cake incident."

"What Jello Octopus Cake incident?"

Oh, fuck.

Two things to note about this latest argument; one being that the "him" you'd spotted (and had been arguing with Dave over) was one Tavros Nitram, AKA one of the hottest guys on this campus, and two being that you'd gotten so engrossed in arguing with Dave that you'd forgotten to keep an eye on Tavros' relative position _at all times_.

This unfortunately means that you're now attempting not to hyperventilate over his new relative position being right next to you, a status you'd enjoy a hell of a lot more if you weren't currently concerned with how much Tavros might have overheard.

"Uhm," you say, and cast a desperate glance Davewards.

For once in your life, he's helpful (note that this does not mean it's the only time in your life he's decided to be _of help_ so much as it's probably the first time that his attempted help was _actually_ helpful), flashing Tavros a brilliant grin (you'll give him this, he's not half bad at flirting) and tipping his head towards you. "It's kind of our noodle incident. Deserves the implied capitalization and much funnier if you don't know all the details at first. Let it get built up over time until the truth is finally revealed in one midnight rush while we're all piled together in a pillow fort. Drunken confessions optional."

Tavros is looking one part flustered, one part bemused, one part delighted, and one part...possibly intrigued, but you'll need to get to know him better to be sure. Lucky you, he's turning a shy little—no, wait, maybe he's smug or pleased or _fuck_ is this guy screwing with your emotional radar—smile on you. "Is he messing with me?"

"I can't answer that honestly," you say, years spent with Striders allowing you to keep a straight face no matter how your thoughts are churning. "Dave's comments are what everyone who misunderstood Schrödinger wishes the cat paradox could be."

You think you've made it worse, because Tavros' eyebrows almost disappear into his hairline. "So, uh. You're both scary smart _and_ scary hot, is what I'm supposed to be getting here?"

"We're absolute fucking geniuses," Dave says, at the exact time you say "We're absolutely terrifying."

Tavros laughs (god his laugh is amazing, you want to feel the way his chest rumbles against your skin while he laughs). "Two kinds of people?"

"We could, theoretically, make it three," and oh that was you. You are the one flirting. Dave is the one looking dumbstruck, for once. "If you were interested."

"Holy shit," Tavros breathes out, and you think his head might fall off if he nods any further. "Yes, please—"

"Dave," you say, and there's a gorgeous man on your arm, a drink in your hand, and Dave's key to the room in your palm as he half-drapes over Tavros himself, attempting to discreetly finish off his alcoholic abomination. Tavros still looks like he can't believe his luck, and you, well.

You're wondering, a little, exactly how soon he'll be able to get the Jello Octopus Cake incident out of the pair of you.


End file.
